Share the Sandbox

Remember growing up and playing in a sandbox? Maybe you had one in your backyard that your dad set up for you. It was your own little world boxed in by 2x8's filled with pure, tan sand. You could pick up a handful and watch it sift through your hand. You could dig down deep where the sand was cooler. It would tuck itself under your fingernails and soil your knees.

Playing in the Sandbox

Then you would add toys to your sandbox. A truck. A square mold. A shovel and pail. Your creativity ran wild as you constructed the raw element up into your personal city. Sometimes you could add water to the mix and make rivers, streams, and lakes. A perfect oasis of controlled creativity.

Then a friend would come over. And they would want to play in your sandbox with you. It sounded like a wonderful idea at first. Friends always make things better, right? Maybe. Before you invite your friend to share your sandbox, it could have been helpful to lay down some rules first. Perhaps they would have looked like this.

Rules to Sharing your Sandbox

Rule 1: Give your friend room in the sandbox. They need an area to call their own too. Don't crowd them out. Give them the freedom to be as equally creative as you.

Allow your friend to make choices. Don't smother them. Someone once said about dating, "If you love someone, let them go. If they return to you, they are yours to keep. If they don't return, they were never yours in the first place." This is just as true in any relationship. Mutual friendship means both parties enjoy one another's company.

Rule 2: Don't throw the sand. The sand is meant to stay in the sandbox on the ground. Sand flying through the air can hit someone in the eye, end up in someone's hair, and deplete the sandbox of sand.

"Do everything without complaining or grumbling." (Philippians 2:14) Speak kindly to one another. Say words that build up your friend rather than tears them down. "A gossip betrays a confidence, but a trustworthy person keeps a secret." (Proverbs 11:13) Don't gossip. If your friend shares something with you in private, keep it secret. Don't go spreading it everywhere.

Rule 3: Don't bring anything other than sand in the sandbox. No grass clippings. No leaves. No dirt. The most enjoyment from the sandbox comes from just having pure, grainy sand.

"Forgive one another as Christ as forgiven you." We all make mistakes. But once an offense is forgiven, let it die. Don't bring it up again. Move forward. Erase the slate.

In your marriage, relationships, friendships, don't forget to "Share the Sandbox." You'll be a better person for it. And remember these words from Paul, "As far as it depends on you, live in harmony with one another."