Complaining or Constructing?

WHY DO THEY...?

Hello. Why is there no margin on this page?  Why do those kids listen to that music? Why do they wear their shorts that way?  Why does the school...? Why does the church...? Do you complain? Anything ever get under your skin and you just have to let someone know it?

I fear that I'm turning into a grumpy old man! Help. Why do we complain anyway? And is there a difference between constructive feedback and complaining? 

I like feedback. I love constructive feedback! I want to evaluate and examine how I'm doing. I want to know if what we're doing is working. If it's effective. If it's reaching the goal.  Positive, healthy changes are made from honest, healthy, constructive feedback. But when do you cross the line from feedback to complaining? What's the difference?

Complaining is to express dissatisfaction or annoyance about a state of affairs or an event.

Constructive Feedback is a tool that is used to build things up, not break things down. It lets the other person know that you are on their side. 

Complaining or constructing? 

The difference is whether you intend to tear things (and people) down or build them up! Are you set against what is happening or are you on the team trying to make things better? It's a matter of which side are you on. Knocking it down or building it up.

I've been reading the book of Numbers and in chapter 11 it says,

And when the people complained, it displeased the Lord: and the Lord heard it; and his anger was kindled; and the fire of the Lord burnt among them, and consumed them that were in the uttermost parts of the camp.

Wow! It seemed the Israelites were tired of walking in the desert and eating only manna. They longed to be back in Egypt (where they were slaves by the way) and eat onions, leaks, cucumbers, melons, and best of all fish. Life, it seemed, was so much better back in Egypt. 

The people were sick of manna for every meal, every day. They tried to prepare it in different ways, but it was still manna and they wanted more variety in their diets. 

These people were not giving constructive feedback. They weren't helping God, Moses, or Aaron lead the people any better. They were straight-forwardly crying, "Let's go back to the way things were! Life was so much better!"

Keith Green's "So you wanna go back to Egypt?"

Moses' Response

Moses reaches the point where he is fed up with the people complaining. He is so distraught that he goes so far as to ask God to kill him rather than put up with these complaining people. 

What was God's response? You want meat!?! I'll give you meat. And quail blew in from the sea. So much quail that it stacked up 3 feet high covering the entire Israelite camp as far as one could walk! For a whole month the people would eat quail until it was coming out of their nostrils. While the meat was in their teeth, God struck the people with a plague leading to their death. God wiped them out!!

Our Response

What are we to make of this? I think it's pretty clear: 

Don't complain against God. Don't complain against God's servants. 

The Bible says to do everything without arguing or complaining.

Paul wrote from prison to the Philippian (2:14-16) church these words:

Do everything without grumbling or arguing, 15 so that you may become blameless and pure, “children of God without fault in a warped and crooked generation.”[a] Then you will shine among them like stars in the sky 16 as you hold firmly to the word of life. And then I will be able to boast on the day of Christ that I did not run or labor in vain.

Even when we have reason to complain, resist. Even when we feel justified to complain, don't do it. It displeases God. It doesn't show the love, beauty, and light of Jesus Christ.  

Instead try to offer constructive feedback. Seek a solution to what is bothering you. Find a common ground. See if you can be part of the solution and not the source of the problem.

Margin

A book has margins. The margins are found at the top, bottom, and on both sides. And they contain - NOTHING. They are intentionally left blank. Why? 

Well, for one thing it makes the text on the page much easier to read. The margins allow our eyes to focus on what we want to read - the actual text.

Margin allows us to focus on those parts of our lives
that are most important

Margin built into our lives allow us to prepare and evaluate what we do, say, and chose. It allows us to focus on those parts of our lives that are most important. Margins are the extra time we give ourselves before we head off to work, school, or an activity.

Another reason for the margins in a book is to allow notes to be written there. As you read, thoughts pop into your own head. The margins give you a place to write your own ideas down.

When I was in High School, a Bible came out that had huge margins. I remember being part of a Bible study where the teacher encouraged us to jot down our thoughts in those expansive margins.

Margins in our lives give us time to think. They are the parenthetical places we can interject our own thoughts, opinions, and feelings into our lives. An airplane on autopilot will eventually run out of gas. At some point the pilot must take manual control and adjust the plane's course. Margins allow us to plot the overall course for our lives, making changes as needed, and assuring we are headed where we need to go.

Margin is the parenthetical places we can interject
our own thoughts, opinions, and feelings into our lives.

Finally, margins delineate. They delineate the text from the edge of the book. Maybe a better illustration of delineation is the rumble strips along-side the highway. They delineate a fast moving car from the dangers of the edge of the road. Without those rumble strips, an inattentive driver could drift over to the shoulder and cause an accident.

Living without margin may be exhilarating and fun for a time, but eventually we end up over the edge and in a damaged position. A medical emergency. A financial crisis. Loss of employment. Any of these unexpected events can hit us without warning. If we live our lives ignoring the margin, we risk the possibility of crashing hard when we no longer need more margin, but a whole new beginning.

The Bible extols us to have margin in our lives. Check out these verses:

God rested after He created the world.  (Genesis Genesis 2:2,3)

 The Israelites were commanded to take one day off from working every seven days. (Exodus 20:9,10) 

The fields of the Israelites were required to rest every seventh year.  (Leviticus 25:3,4)

Jesus took time away from the crowds on a regular basis to rest and spend time in prayer with His father.  (Luke 4:42; 5:16;)

Make a "Stop-Do" list and eliminate unnecessary tasks

Margin in our lives today may come in the form of a quiet time in the morning with coffee. It may come in the evening prior to bedtime after the children are in bed. It may involve separation from our cell phone - taking a break from text messages, phone calls, and social media.

Margin can be found on the weekend, a vacation, or a free evening.

However, margin may involve more in saying "No" to filling our your daily routine. Margin may involve penning a "Stop-Do List" and eliminate unnecessary tasks from your life.  Whatever it looks like for you, margin is the precious breathing room we need around our activities. The room to stop, step back, and see the Big Picture of what we do.

One final note. Margin will NOT be given to you. You have to take it. You have to intentionally chose to have margin in your life. Margin doesn't just happen. Not today. Not in America. Satan would love nothing more than to keep you so busy that you don't have time to prioritize your time, evaluate your life, and plan for the future.

Make time for margin.